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Coming for the first time
The thing that stops most people is not belief. It is not knowing when to stand, what to hold, or whether somebody is going to ask them to do something in front of a room. So here is the whole thing, in order.
Nothing is required. You do not need to tell us you are coming, book anything, or bring anything. If you would like somebody to look out for you, ring 408-910-2034 or send a message and say it is your first time — somebody will find you at the door and sit with you. A surprising number of people do this, and it makes the morning much easier.
Times are on the schedule page. It is worth glancing at, but you do not need to arrive at the start.
The door is open and there is no desk to check in at. Men take a kippah from the basket by the entrance if they are not wearing one; married women often cover their hair, and nobody minds either way. Find a seat. Anywhere is fine, and the back is completely respectable — plenty of regulars sit there.
Men and women sit separately, with a divider between. That is standard in a Chabad shul. If you have come with somebody and would rather sit together, say so and we will sort something out.
A prayer book is on the shelf or somebody will hand you one. Every page has Hebrew on one side and English on the other. There is no announcement of page numbers most of the time — ask your neighbour, who will be pleased to be asked, or just read the English at your own pace. Following along exactly is not the point.
The morning goes in three parts:
Everybody sits down together for Kiddush: wine, challah, food, and an hour of talking. This is where a shul actually happens, and it is the reason to stay even if the service was not for you. You will be asked who you are and where you have come from, and that is friendliness rather than an interview.
One practical thing. Phones are traditionally not used on Shabbat, so you will notice nobody has one out. If yours rings, nothing happens except that you turn it off. Nobody will say anything — and if they do, they are wrong.
No. There is no membership, no ticket, and nothing to pay — not on an ordinary Shabbat and not on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur either. Walk in.
No. Nobody is called on. If you would like an aliyah — being called to the Torah — you can ask, and plenty of people never do. Sitting quietly for an hour is a completely normal way to be at a service.
What you would wear to a friend’s parents’ house for lunch. Men usually wear a collared shirt, women a skirt or dress, but nobody is checking and nobody will say anything. There are kippot at the door if you want one.
The prayers and the Torah reading are, but every prayer book and Chumash has English on the facing page, and the Rabbi speaks in English. You will not be lost for long.
Yes, and please do. Children move around, talk, and go in and out. This is not a room where a noisy child is a problem.
No. Come late, leave early, step out and come back — all of it is ordinary and nobody keeps score.
No, and it will not come up. Nobody will ask what you keep, and nobody will suggest you keep more. Chabad does not work that way.
Traditionally Shabbat is not a day for driving, and that is worth knowing. It is also true that a great many people drive here, that nobody watches the car park, and that you will be welcomed exactly the same either way. Come how you can come.
If you would rather not walk in cold, tell us and somebody will be expecting you. If you would rather slip in unnoticed, do that instead — both are completely normal here.